I can't sleep.
Not because I don't want to.
Not because I don't need to.
There's a problem (a blessing to me, a problem to others) that, at times, keeps me up at night that most of the country I live in will never have a sleepless night over. It is the color of my skin.
The news of yet another death in the custody of police did not reassure me that I live in the "freest, greatest nation ever to come about." I feel the steady diet of media creating a desensitizing to the treatment of black people. I see the up and coming activists and dissenters being given an unspoken message: "Speak up too often, hash tag too often, upload your messages of empowerment too often, and we will put a stop to you."
I overheard someone recently tell my husband that, "racism is simply one person's dislike for another." If only it were that simple.
I wanted to tell them about the time my husband was accused of talking to a white female clerk who said she felt "uncomfortable" and therefore he could not return to the place (in a small town, 87% white) where we had to do business for a year. He could not show his face there for a year because the clerk felt "uncomfortable".
Racism is the ability to do something about your bigotry and prejudice. Not just merely dislike a person. But deny them access or opportunity. I won't bore you with my instances of outright racism (I've stopped counting my personal experiences, I just write them down) here but the notion of reverse racism is flawed. One actually has to have power to enforce their prejudice and bigotry, and Black people (in this country) have not had that collective power.
As a Christian, I am encouraged to trust in God, live and walk by faith, and walk in truth. Yet as a Black person in America, I am encouraged to ignore injustice, never talk about injustice, pretend that there are not issues specific to my people group that do matter (see 13, 14, 15th Amendments), mattered so much that they had to be added to the Constitution that was not originally written with Black people classified as human beings (not property) and free (not enslaved) in mind. It is automatically assumed that if I am for Black people, I cannot be for ALL people, which is untrue. God himself is for ALL people (see Revelation 5).
It is especially hard to see a problem that MLK pointed out decades ago, still be a pervasive problem today: that other people groups whose voice could be a factor in change, remain relatively silent.
It would be nice to live as though I had no care in the world. That work, family, friends, and faith were the only things that I had to concern myself with. But I was born into this world with one more thing on my plate. So I cannot pretend color blindness, because very few have ever pretended not to make my race a deciding factor and sometimes the primary factor in my educational experiences, employment experiences, housing experiences, or social experiences. I am learning everyday anew to cast my cares upon the Lord for he cares for me. I am also learning that no amount of intelligence, sincerity, kindness, skill, or desire to reconcile will convince someone who sees me as less than human to see me like the Lord sees me.
I understand my issues are not unique to me, that people of color around the world have dealt with this to some extent and degree. I understand some are really tired of hearing about Black lives, I get it. But we must be more than "tired". We must do what we can to hold those accountable who are in authority.
The reality is the internal disease of racism does not have a radar. It is a heart condition that continues to manifest itself as an unhealed area of our historical fabric. The more it is called out, the deeper it tries to embed itself. Spiritual racism is here and on the rise because we won't address the ethnic racism. Injustice is injustice. We must be willing to speak up even if it is not directly affecting us. We must be willing to weep with those who weep. God is not indifferent to our pain. He has shown through human history that the sighing and cries of his mistreated ones can and will reach his ears (read Exodus).
When a Christian cries out that they are denied access and opportunity because of their stance and belief, I wonder if they can see the parallels? We can't scream #ChristianLivesMatter and be silent when it comes to #BlackLivesMatter.
#AllLivesMatter...So I've Been Told. I am waiting on America to make that more than a hashtag. I am waiting for the Church to take her place as the Kingdom.
